The holidays can be bloody triggering for many reasons but when you want to get pregnant in a fat body, it seems like everyone thinks you’re fair game!
Not only do you get “when are we going to hear the pitter patter of little feet?” questions from every single relative but you also get the disapproving looks and the snide remarks every time you go near the chocolate box.
“Should you really be eating that Kathleen?”
“Maybe it would be easier to get pregnant if you ate less cheese Lucy?”
“Why not slow down Ethel?”
You get the picture!
Everyone feels like they have the right to an opinion on what you should be doing with your body but it’s not true. It’s your body and that means it’s your rules.
So here are three techniques to help you navigate through the holidays whilst keeping your mental health in tact!
Creating firm boundaries
Be really clear during conversations what you are not ok to talk about. If someone brings up children, firmly tell them that this is not a topic open for discussion.
If someone mentions your size, your weight or the foods you choose to put in your mouth, tell them in no uncertain terms that it’s none of their goddam business!
Isn’t in interesting how people feel like it’s acceptable to comment and make judgements on other people’s plates?
It can be hard to hold firm on these boundaries. As a recovering “good girl” and people pleaser, I avoid conflict like the plague and go out of my way to avoid making others feel uncomfortable, but we need to keep having these conversations because it’s not ok.
If you ever feel uncomfortable, just walk out of the room. It doesn’t have to be a big deal and you don’t have to worry about ruining the holidays for anyone else. The only way that these situations are going to change is if we change them.
Remembering you have a choice
We cannot control the things people say and do:
- the comments people make about our size or our health,
- the actions people take based on assumptions they make about us,
but what we do have control over is how we feel about those things.
We have the choice about whether we internalise and believe what people say and think about us, or whether we stand in our own convictions and stick to our own beliefs about our bodies and our wellbeing.
We choose how things make us feel.
These things aren’t always easy and can take practice, especially when we’re recovering from telling ourselves far worse things than anyone could ever say about you.
The aim is to give ourselves grace. Be gentle and remember that it’s a choice. You don’t have to feel shit because Uncle John said you look like a whale.
You can choose to feel ok, just as you are.
Being mindful of new year, new you bullshit
There is SO much stuff out there right now about diets for the new year, dieting before the holidays so that you can indulge 😡😡
This is just more diet culture crap dressed up in new year clothing. You do not need to diet before or indeed after the holidays. You do not need to hit the gym in the new year to burn off all those festive calories.
Protect yourself from this as much as you can. See it for what it is. More people trying to make money by making us feel like crap. You do not have to take part in this anymore.
You know what? 2018 version of you is pretty damn perfect and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.