Episode 18: Your Fertility, Your Way: Exploring IVF Abroad with Emma Haslam

Episode Summary
In this episode of Fat and Fertile, I’m joined by the incredible Emma Haslam, founder of Your IVF Abroad and a passionate advocate for fertility choice. Emma shares her deeply personal journey through infertility, the barriers she faced due to BMI restrictions in the UK, and how she ultimately found a path to parenthood abroad.

We dive into the realities of navigating fertility treatment as a fat person, the frustration of arbitrary weight-based restrictions, and the emotional toll of being told to lose weight before receiving medical support. Emma opens up about her decision to seek IVF treatment outside the UK, what that experience was like, and how it led her to create Your IVF Abroad—a business dedicated to helping others access safe, transparent, and supportive fertility care without weight stigma.

If you’ve ever felt dismissed by the fertility industry, this episode is a must-listen. Emma’s story is one of resilience, empowerment, and challenging the status quo. She’s proof that fertility care should be accessible to all bodies, and she’s on a mission to make sure others have the information and support they need to explore their options.

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  • Ep18 - Fat and Fertile - Your Fertility, Your Way: Exploring IVF Abroad with Emma Haslam

    Speaker 1

    [00.00.03]

     Hey my lovely, welcome to Fat and Fertile, the podcast. I'm Nicola Salmon pronouns. She and her. I'm an award winning fertility advocate and fat positive fertility specialist, and I am so passionate about supporting fat folks who feel excluded or dismissed by traditional fertility spaces. On this podcast, we'll tackle weight bias within the fertility industry. We're going to explore how to navigate your fertility journey without diets, shame, or stigma, and empower you to trust your body and take control of your reproductive health. If you're looking for more support, be sure to download my free Fat Person's Guide to Getting Pregnant or Join My Coffee Community. It's a space for fat folks to connect, share, and find compassionate support. 

    Speaker 2

    [00.00.57]

     You'll find all the links in the show notes. I'm so glad that you're here. I'm in your corner and we've got this together. Hey everyone, and welcome to today's episode. I am so excited because my guest is not only an incredible advocate and mentor, but also a really dear friend of mine, Emma Haslam. Emma's journey is nothing short of inspiring as a fat person navigating the barriers of IVF in the UK, including being turned away many times due to BMI restrictions. Emma took matters into her own hands and went abroad to find a clinic that could help. Fast forward to today and she is a proud mum and founder of your IVF abroad, where she supports others in navigating the tricky, emotional and often overwhelming world of fertility treatment abroad. Her story is amazing and she's helped so many people take control of their fertility journeys and access choice when it comes to finding fertility treatments for your bigger body. I am so thrilled to have her here and I can't wait to share this episode with you. So I am so happy to welcome today, Emma. Me and Emma have been biz friends for a while now, and I am so thrilled that she's come to join me today. She has been such a champion of this work, the work that I do, and I love the work that she does as well. But she is going to tell us all about that in a little bit. But first of all, Emma, I would love for you to tell us a little bit about your journey to getting your little one and bringing him home. 

    Speaker 1

    [00.02.37]

     Hi, Nicole. Yeah. Thank you so much for having me. It's great to be here. And, um, yeah, I'd love to share more about my story. So it started back in. Well, I got married. I met my husband, Adam, um, back in 2000, and, like, we're going back now. 2015, I think it was, oh, 2014. No, that's a complete lie. It was right start again. It was 2011. Oh, so big difference there. 2011. And, um, I literally met him and he asked me to go on a date with him, and I was like, I'm going traveling around the world on my own, like in six weeks. Um, and he was like, look, you know, my dad's dying. Things are really shitty. Let's just go out. Just like, it'll cheer me up like we'd met. So a a long story, but we'd met and, um, we got on really, really well. And I was like, okay, let's go out. And we had such an incredible time together. And it was obviously, um, very obvious, I think that there was something there, but I'd come out of quite a bad breakup, and I was just about to go traveling around the world by myself. It was something that I'd had, um, a list of things I wanted to do 

    Speaker 2

    [00.03.53]

     forever. And just not done it and booked it. Terrified by myself. And then kind of met someone. But there was no way that I wasn't going to go for a boy that I'd had two days with. Absolutely, absolutely not. So off I went and we stayed. We stayed in touch and, um, he sadly lost his father later on that year. And I think that made him sort of re-evaluate life as these things can do. And he sent me a message saying, how easy is it to get a job in Australia? And I was like, well, I don't know. I'm in India like I'm in India. I was going to Australia. Yeah. And he was like, well, I've just been thinking, would it be weird if I came and if I came and joined you? Now there is a tenuous link between him and I. So it wasn't just a complete random, but I was like, well, not really, because I'm traveling with literally loads of random people because that's what happens often when you go and do these things by yourself, you meet loads of people. I was literally never on my own. Um, and he was like, I just really would like to get away and, and travel. I was like, right, you can come. But if we don't get on, then you'll have to go and like, you'll have to go and fend for yourself because that's like my yeah, bugger off. This is my trip. Um, so anyway, he came out later on in that year and, um, we spent six weeks in the camper van together, like touring east coast of Australia. You really get to know somebody in close quarters, let me tell you, 

    Speaker 1

    [00.05.18]

     you can't. You can't hide a fart in a camper van. Nicola. 

    Speaker 2

    [00.05.23]

     Getting comfortable very quickly. Yes. Yeah. 

    Speaker 1

    [00.05.25]

     Very quickly. And I think it was just it was very obvious then that, you know, we were kind of meant to be. And we then lived and worked in Sydney for a bit. And then we went and travelled New Zealand, did some other bits of travelling and kind of had the perfect whirlwind romance, like amazing. Um, got home, he proposed, and then we started to plan our wedding and we'd sort of said we would begin coming off contraception and like just not trying prior to the wedding. And at this point in time, I've infertility is not even anything on my radar. Like never considered it. And I don't think you necessarily do unless you're around it. Um, so we then got married and then it was like, right, we're going to start, we're going to start trying, um, and the kind of casual trying turn into the like really trying and the old wives tales. And why is this not working? And after about a year of. Trying, but probably collectively longer. Um, we were like, um, this this isn't working. So in the days when it was much easier to get a GP appointment, we were seeing quite quickly did some basic tests, and they indicated that we needed a referral to gynecology. We had that referral, they did some more tests and again, it was quite quick then we were very lucky. Um, but sadly then the look kind of look kind of stops and we were told that we had both male and female infertility factors that we would never conceive naturally and that our only hope was, um, was IVF. And I was a bit naive to what IVF even was. Um, and being a kind of glass half full type person that I am, and so was Adam. Um, we were just a bit like, right, then we'll we'll have IVF. And they were like, oh, by the way, I only got a 3 to 5% chance it's going to work for you. So we're like, okay. So it's like quite a big shit sandwich in one session. Um, and then came the real kicker, which was but unfortunately, basically, you're too far. Yeah. To qualify for treatment. So that was a real killer. Because then instantly you think, well, this is my fault. This is why I can't conceive. Um, you know, now I've got to go away and lose six stone. Like, how the heck am I going to be able to do that when I've never been able to do that before? Um, and it was frustrating because I, particularly at that time, fit and healthy, no health problems. Um, I had low AMH and that found out then that I had a history of kind of family early menopause. So really time was of the essence rather than my weight being a problem medically. You know, if it had have been a problem, I would think I would have been more understanding of that. But I understood it was very much about qualifying for NHS criteria and totally arbitrary goal. Right. 

    Speaker 2

    [00.08.23]

     Yeah. And and actually, like, there was nothing in your health history that, you know, apart from the genetic stuff that you mentioned in your family history, nothing that would indicate that there was going to be anything health wise that would impact the outcome. Right? 

    Speaker 1

    [00.08.37]

     Absolutely. Um, so we felt like we've been fobbed off and we, we effectively were. And we were sent away and just with no help or support to lose this massive amount of weight either. And it was just like, just give us a call when you've got your BMI down to 35. So I think that is when it all kind of imploded and hit me because I was just like, how am I going to do this? You know, it's not going to happen naturally. That was one thing. And then it was like, if you can get all of this weight off, it's probably not going to work. I know, by the way, you know, we're probably not going to do it for you because you're not going to lose six stone. Emma. And that was a really awful moment. And I just felt the massive pressure of the ticking clock as well, and just felt so guilty, like this was my fault. Um, I mean, we both had a lot of guilt because, I mean, my husband, Adam, he, um, he loves it when I come and talk about his testicles on podcast. But he has he has, um, he found out from his mum they had an undescended testicle while we were early in our investigations. That was descended when he was younger. And that can impact fertility. And they do think that that possibly did impact Adam's fertility. So he already kind of knew this in the early days of the investigation. So it already decided it was his fault in inverted commas. And I was like, look, Adam, it's no one's fault. Um, but I hadn't even considered I think I told myself that it, you know, that the challenges were on Adam's side, and then it was like a bit of a double, a double whammy. So it was just, I think it was the worst bit was being just sent off, like, off you go. And it's like nothing. No support, nothing. And it was like, well, what? Like, what do you even do with all of that? Um. So by some miracle, I did manage to lose weight in a healthy way. But that took time because, you know, I mean, I did consider crash dieting all these other things, which was massively unhealthy, but I think it can drive you to feel 

    Speaker 2

    [00.10.35]

     like that seems right, like you don't have a choice. I totally understand that. You know, like when it comes up against it, if you have this limited amount of time and you're told that the only option is to lose weight, then of course you're going to look to the most extreme measures, right? Like that is, as a person, that's so understandable that you'd want to do that. 

    Speaker 1

    [00.10.54]

     Yeah, 100%. But then I was like, well, that's not going to help my quality. And I felt so like conflicted. Um, but through a combination of, you know, diet changes and exercise, I mean, I've not been able to sustain it in terms of the way it's gone. It's 

    Speaker 2

    [00.11.07]

     not sustainable. I know, but I did it. Um, and then I was, you know, I think it took a, you know, a fair amount of time. And then when I ran to be like, we're ready. So we're like, oh, really? Sorry. The rules have now changed. You have to have a BMI of 30 in this area. Could you just lose another? Could you just lose another? I think it was 2 or 2 and a half stone and I was like, no, no, I can't. 

    Speaker 1

    [00.11.31]

     I'm like, no. 

    Speaker 2

    [00.11.33]

     Oh my God. But I'm doing it as well. It's just like, you've got this one goal in mind and you're like, if I can just, you know, like edge to that finish line, and then they're like, oh no, sorry, I've got to run another marathon. You know, like it's just 

    Speaker 1

    [00.11.47]

     could you just could you just lose? I'm like, 

    Speaker 2

    [00.11.49]

     no, just the six that mental torture. And like that's the thing when you're in this and you're in this horrible limbo land, it's horrific and it takes over everything, doesn't it? And it just takes the slaps, the joy it can do out of your life. And that's where we were, and I couldn't honestly, I couldn't believe it. I couldn't I just could not believe it, that that's what that was the news. And and I said to Adam, like, I can't do that. And I honestly, I was like, you know. Uh, sofa and healthy. So I was just like, I can't do that. And I can't spend any more time now on something when I know that not to be the thing, that's the prob a problem or the challenge is just wasting time. But at the same time as saying that, I also didn't have another plan. We didn't have another plan. And um, we looked into we did look into adoption. Um, we started to look into kind of having IVF in the UK. Um, we didn't have any money at this point, but my mum very kindly offered for us to move home with them, which is obviously a massive privilege and very lucky. Not an ideal situation as a newlywed couple. So, um, what we're doing in a small terraced house with the parents. 

    Speaker 1

    [00.13.04]

     However, I'm very grateful because that allowed us to be able to save up. But, you know, life went on hold as it does holidays. All the things we love doing stopped while we saved. Um, and you know, it's going to be like, if we save this money, it's going to be enough for one round in the UK, but then we're going to have to move back. My parents like that is going to be the end because we can't live with them forever. No. Yeah, exactly. Um, but through the process of kind of linking into the clinics that we spoke to in the UK and I'm not saying that it's like that everywhere, but I do hear there's quite a lot from lots of my clients is that I just found it all a little bit conveyor belt ish. I found it very hard to get transparent, clear information personalisation and despite having reduced my BMI, I still felt there was quite a lot of fatphobia within those clinics, and they also charge a very big amount of money for treatment. Um, and I just thought, I'm not feeling the love for any of you, and we've got this 3 to 5% chance. And I'm not sure I want to spend it with any, any of you. I didn't feel like I had that trust or that feeling that we were going to be really looked after and have that personalized kind of attention. Um, and I was sick of people making me feel like shit for being fat. Oh my God. 

    Speaker 2

    [00.14.23]

     Yeah. Like, there's no safety in that relationship, right? Like, if they're just dismissing you, making you feel ashamed of your body, like, how are you supposed to trust them with, you know, you're like your dream. 

    Speaker 1

    [00.14.34]

     Exactly. And this is this is somebody who had reduced the BMI massively at this point, you know, so it just and I think I just inherently disagree with BMI being the thing to measure somebody's health. It's just not accurate. And so it really grates on me. And when you have conversations with people and they can't actually provide you with any evidence, it's just like I'm not always willing to listen if, if, if it had been a factor, then, you know, people do. Things need to be safe. We do need to take consideration of people's health and situations, and absolutely that's important. But all too often it is used as an excuse because people do not have the answers. And that really, really grinds my gears. Anyway, I've got off on a tangent, but we, um. Tangent. We didn't find a clinic that we want. Yeah, we didn't find a clinic that we wanted. And then it was like, what are we going to do? And I have no idea, honestly, what made it was me. I think first start to look at going abroad. I must have got Google adverts because you do, don't you? Yeah. And whether it's because I've done, we've done quite a lot travelling and seeing that actually do you know what there are other countries in the world have got excellent healthcare. Um, you know, just because we live here doesn't necessarily mean we have to have our treatment here. Perhaps there are other places. And when I began to look down my rabbit hole, I began to realize that there were other options available out there that were worth perhaps exploring, options that in some places were safe and more accessible around things like BMI, and that appeared much more transparent around things like costings. Much better value for for money. So like making a budget go further. And you know, despite the kind of. Like, you know, English maybe not being their first language, actually receiving some clearer communication at times. Um, around questions being asked. So a lot of the consultations, um, were either sort of cheap and free as well. So it allowed us to be able to look at some different clinics without spending £250 every time, which is 

    Speaker 2

    [00.16.35]

     wild, isn't it? You should. It's wild. You wouldn't do that with a car, right, if you were shopping for a car. Spending a lot of money on something you wouldn't, you know, expect to pay £200 to test drive it, right? Like you'd expect to be able to try lots of different places to see where you felt safe, to see where you felt secure and where you knew that your needs were going to be met. So it's wild that the clinics in the UK do that. 

    Speaker 1

    [00.16.57]

     It is wild, I completely agree. And then you just think about, I think all that money that was, that was like wasted. And one of them in particular, it was really hard to get costings out of. We had the consultation to think was £300 expensive. And then after I got the proper costings and I know that they can't give you the proper costings until you've had a consultation, but there were things that they'd admitted to say that we would need when they knew that and we couldn't actually afford to have treatment there. So that was just like setting fire to £300 and that really that kind of thing does not sit well with me. It's unethical. It feels like, you know, when you run your own business, you make those decisions about that, right? Like that's a decision somebody has made and that doesn't feel fair or appropriate, especially when people don't 

    Speaker 2

    [00.17.37]

     feel fair though vulnerable. Right. And looking 

    Speaker 1

    [00.17.40]

     for any. That's the thing, isn't it? That's the thing people are. And it's that lack of transparency. And we just started to explore some clinics. I mean, you know, I put my hand up back then, didn't really know what we were doing. We were winging it, which is absolutely not an approach I recommend. But we didn't have, you know, I look for support. It didn't exist. You know, back then, you know, I think it was around 2015 when we started the kind of looking abroad. There weren't these communities, there weren't people like myself, there weren't people on podcasts. So it wasn't talked about. This felt like this big thing that nobody did. And all I could find were like old threads on Mumsnet and stuff. So it was very like. Just going on, I hope. Not a wing and a prayer, but we. I was vulnerable and, um, desperate and it felt like a second rate, potentially second rate choice. But then that turned into actually being quite a different experience. And, you know, we found a clinic. It was actually the first clinic to ever mention to us about donor conception. Um, so had we have gone in the UK and spent our money, it wouldn't have worked. Yeah, because we did then end up having donor conception and it took three transfers. Um, and then I conceived twins, one of which I sadly lost at 12 weeks pregnant. And then one who is with me. Well, not literally now, but who is, um, here in the school, and he's six and a half. Um, goodness. So it was a long and, uh, crazy, crazy journey, but going abroad meant that we were able to stretch that budget further, to have the treatment that we needed. Um, and actually, we had a wonderful experience overall. I mean, it was very stressful in that we were arranging things from a different country. We had no one to support or guide us. Um, but the actual treatment that we had was fantastic. And the care um, and yeah, just really wanted people to know that perhaps another option and not once did they make me feel like By BMI was an issue. Just the whole way that they addressed me was like a proper person, which I know it should be the way. But as a fat person, you begin to just see how in so many instances, you've had fatphobic appointments and then we've just sort of accepted it because it's just kind of how it is. It's so ingrained, it's awful. And then you experience a different way. Then you're like, oh, okay. Um, and you know, not all clinics abroad offer treatment for, you know, higher BMI. And, you know, so there's still some challenges. Some clinics and different clinics have different limits. But I suppose when you're looking outside, perhaps a couple of local fertility clinics, you are or even just, you know, a small island that we're on here in the UK, you've got more choice. And so therefore it's, it's easier to find, you know, there are clinics out there that do offer that from a kind of care point of view, but also have then got the experience of looking after people in bigger bodies, because we know that things like getting the protocol and medication right is important. So they've got that experience too. 

    Speaker 2

    [00.20.42]

     Yeah, absolutely. 

    Speaker 1

    [00.20.44]

     So, you know, that was just completely different and in a positive way. 

    Speaker 2

    [00.20.48]

     So how did you go from like having this amazing experience abroad, having your son to then setting up a business and making this like good job. Like where did that inspiration come from? How did you get to the place that you're at now with your business? 

    Speaker 1

    [00.21.05]

     So I think I think it comes well, I know it comes from looking for the support, desperately googling, frantically wanting to know we were being safe, wanting to know is this the right clinic for us? How do we do this? How do we do this? When do we do this? Like what is going on? All that kind of stress and anxiety that could have been avoided, but the support didn't exist. So my husband has said to me, you need to set that up. And I was like, I just had a baby, you know what I mean? Like, give me a break, give me a break. But as I kind of came towards the back end of my maternity leave, I'd, I'd gone I'd said I wanted to go back part time and I wanted to take a less stressful position at work. That then allowed me, um, when Albee was at nursery, want, like, allowed me a day, a week. And I sort of started to explore this as an idea. And I thought you maybe, maybe I could, because I just wanted people to know that there are other options, and I wanted to be completely independent so that I didn't take any commission from clinics, because that's really important to me. Then people know if I make a suggestion, it's because I believe it to be something in their best interest rather than someone who's paying me commission, and instead I get clients discounts off their their treatment and do it that way round. Um, and I wanted to be able to offer support at all stages. So from people who are kind of working out whether or not going abroad is right for them, through to the researching clinics, having consultations and then through to the planning and having their treatment abroad. And it's just grown like so I started five and a half years ago just before Covid hit, actually, but I still had a part time job then. So I was a bit like, you know, see what happens. Then Covid hit literally about three months later. I was like, I forgot to say, but actually I was really busy. And then it got to the point where I was like, why are you why are you doing all why don't you leave your job? Like, what are you doing? So three years ago, I think it was I left to go full time. Um, and now I work with clients all over the world. Like it's incredible. I'm like, how do they even know about little old me? Um, but I think because I've been through it and because I am independent, I think they go a long way with people. And I'm very integrity driven. Um, and, you know. Like you said about like the ethics of things. That is important to me. It's important to me that people have the right information for them to make informed decisions without any judgment from anybody. But it's, you know, there's so much misinformation out there and marketing B.S. and, you know, it's not right for everybody to go abroad. It's right for lots of people. But you do need to know what you're doing. Yeah. Um, and it's not safe everywhere. And it can be very stressful if you've not got some help because you're adding in having fertility treatment, which is stressful, and then you're adding in this whole layer of extra things to do in the first time you do something, of course. And it's a big thing. It's stressful. Um, and, you know, you can waste a lot of time and energy and money if you don't know what you're doing. And ultimately, you can make unsafe decisions that can have a lifelong impact on you and any potential future children born and things. So I've immersed myself in that world. Um, and I just feel so fortunate that this is my job. Like, I love it. I literally love it. Um, it's the best job in the world. And I've had loads of people have babies, so, I mean, it just fills my cup. I just love it. Yeah, well, we finished our facility journey. Yeah, exactly. We finished our fertility journey now, but it really helps me to be able to try and help other people and use those experiences to. For good. 

    Speaker 2

    [00.24.34]

     Yeah, it's that really shit situation that you turned into, something that really touches so many people's lives. Yeah. I just want to help everybody. 

    Speaker 1

    [00.24.43]

     Amazing. 

    Speaker 2

    [00.24.45]

     Okay, so if you could give one piece of advice to your past self who was, like, stuck in the middle of that shit sandwich, like, what would you tell her? What would you do differently? What would you say to kind of ease her mind? Like, what would you say to her? 

    Speaker 1

    [00.25.01]

     I'd say it's not your fault. And I would say, I wish that I had walked away from the lose. I wish I'd not have lost the weight. I wish I'd have just decided at that point to go privately, which I understand is not an option for everybody. And, you know, we were very lucky that we were able to move in with my mom to make that an option. But, you know, that was time wasted. And while I do not regret going down the, you know, the donation room and our little boy is who he is because of that. And I would never want to change that. Um, you know, the time that we lost the energy, the drain on our relationship, on everything was massive. And ultimately I was working towards a goal and then it was moved anyway. And there's so many people out there that are on waiting lists for treatment, possibly never going to get, you know, or goalposts get moved and then, you know, you're stuck in limbo. And for me, that was the worst bit actually being stuck. So I would say it's not your fault. And I would say. You know, like I knew really, it wasn't because I was fat, so I was I should have really put two and two together and gone. Right? Okay. Losing weight, it's not going to make any difference other than it's going to give me free treatment. But it didn't anyway. And the time that took and the energy that took was just too long. So if you're in a position that you've been made to feel like it's not your fault, it isn't, and maybe there are other options that you haven't perhaps considered. And perhaps going abroad is something that might open up an option to you that perhaps you didn't have before, so that you can become unstuck and move forwards. And I think it's really important that people can move forward on their own terms and not have to feel like a second rate citizen. Have choice. Yeah, absolutely. Have choice. It's so important. 

    Speaker 2

    [00.26.45]

     Yeah. And I think so many people that I speak to initially like, don't realize that there is that choice. They think that that's all they can do is they just can lose the weight and get the treatment or not, and that they feel like that is their choice. And when you can, when that's your only choice. Of course, lose weight seems like it's the only option that you've got, right? Because the other option seems completely, you know, like unthinkable. So yeah, having that choice, having options I think is so valuable for people, even if they don't choose to go, you know, abroad, knowing that that's an option, knowing that it's a choice, knowing that they can choose, you know, more than just the one clinic in the UK that might cater to their BMI, I think is so valuable and important. 

    Speaker 1

    [00.27.24]

     Yeah. Knowing that not to be afraid, I'm not afraid now to challenge medical professionals that I will not get weighed appointments because I'm like, no, I'll tell you what my weight is. If you want to know, I'm not getting weighed. I don't need to get weighed. And I'm much more bolshie now. 

    Speaker 2

    [00.27.37]

     Yeah, we need more balls. 

    Speaker 1

    [00.27.39]

     Whereas I wasn't then, though, I really was it. And like, you know, I, I you've hit the nail on the head like a lot of people come to me and they've had even privately not great experiences where they've just, they've just sort of accepted substandard service. And that's no judgment on them. That's a judgement on the people delivering a substance that we're 

    Speaker 2

    [00.27.58]

     expected to take right, 

    Speaker 1

    [00.28.00]

     to put up with. Yeah. And then you just like. And then they see how it can be like I did. They're like, oh my goodness. You know. And it's sort of like we have to accept it because we're fat. And it's like, no. And you know, I like give my clients a massive list of questions if they want to use them to help them in consultations, because I want them to come away and think that's the right clinic or not for me and offer us and that they know it. And I want them to feel like they've got a choice. As you said, it's why I provide free clinics because they know who's right for them, and they should be interviewing clinics and making these decisions and making these choices. Um, and because it's, you know, let's go to the chase. Even if they're saving money, going abroad, it's still a lot of money. It is. 

    Speaker 2

    [00.28.41]

     Absolutely. They want to feel confident in the decision they're making because that's what consent is, right? Like knowing the risks, the benefits, knowing all of that information and then being able to make an informed decision. 

    Speaker 1

    [00.28.53]

     Absolutely. And feeling like you can have those conversations with the doctor and, you know, having that honesty in that space and that that empathy. But also when, you know, for doctors who maybe. I haven't worked in bigger bodies to just automatically blame BMI, but then when then people don't often. Yeah, don't often challenge because they're too scared to. But you know, there's often there isn't any evidence behind what they're saying. It's just a cop 

    Speaker 2

    [00.29.17]

     out. And, you know, the evidence is in the pudding. Right? The proof's in the pudding, as they say. You know, all of these clinics abroad are doing it just fine. And everybody, you know, like it's obviously safe. It's obviously effective because all of the clinics, you know, in different countries are doing it. So it's, you know, and in the US the same like there's yeah, plenty of clinic doctors doing it. 

    Speaker 1

    [00.29.37]

     I say to people about like what about if, you know, fat people conceive naturally all the time and have babies 

    Speaker 2

    [00.29.43]

     and it's fine, you know, like totally boring, totally ordinary pregnancies going on all of the time and have been for millennia, right? Millennia. 

    Speaker 1

    [00.29.51]

     Exactly, exactly. 

    Speaker 2

    [00.29.53]

     So how people find you, how can people work with you? Tell tell us a little bit more about what you're doing at the moment, what you're offering at the moment so people can come and find you and work with you if they want to. 

    Speaker 1

    [00.30.04]

     Well, I've got a variety of services from kind of online stuff through to full 1 to 1 support. So different stuff for different budgets. You can come and say hi to me if you're on, you're on Instagram, I'm at your IVF abroad. I'm sure, Nicole, I'll drop all of this into the show notes. Um, but if you are currently facing obstacles in your home country and you want to understand more about what your options might be. Um, learn a bit more about going abroad. The good stuff. The watch outs. Um, and a bit more about working with me as well. Then I have a recorded masterclass that's free for you to have a listen to. I'll send Nicole the link. She can pop it in a show notes. That's a really good place to start. Um, because I know that some people listen to this and may never have considered even going abroad was an option for them, or might have never even heard of it as an idea. So it's a great kind of place for you. Or if you are considering it and you want to learn some more for free in the first instance, then you can go there. And I've also got my own podcast, which Nicola will be coming on as my very first guest soon. Um, so if podcasting is your jam, which it probably is, if you're listening to this, then you can search me out on all the usual platforms your IVF abroad. 

    Speaker 2

    [00.31.15]

     Thank you so much for coming on today, Emma. I am so grateful for your expertise. I send people to you all the time because you get it. You understand the problems that that folks face, like you've been through it yourself. You've walked the walk, and now I'm so grateful to be able to share your work so that other people can access choice and access care that they need. So thank you for doing this work. Thank you for existing. And yeah, I'll chat to you next time on your podcast. Thank you so much Nicola. Take care. Bye bye. Thank you so much for joining me today on Fat and Fertile. I hope you found encouragement and support as you navigate getting pregnant in a bigger body. If you're looking for more resources. Don't forget to grab your free Fat Person's Guide to Getting Pregnant. And if you'd like to support my work or connect with a loving, kind, fat, positive community, join me over on Kofi as a member, you'll get the chance to ask me anything and I answer all of your questions personally. There's exclusive bonus podcast episodes every month answering some questions. A supportive place to connect with other members who are also navigating the same issues that you are, and access to some of my most loved courses and tools. So whether you're trying to get pregnant or just want to support fat positive fertility advocacy, then we'd love to have you over there. The links to everything are in the show notes. Until next time, take care and remember you are absolutely worthy of all of the support and love that you need in order to grow your family. 

    PLEASE NOTE: Transcript has been generated automatically and may not been accurate

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Episode 19: Finding Fat-Friendly Fertility Clinics – How to Research, Interview, and Choose Your IVF Provider

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Episode 17: Top 5 Questions